An unnecessarily authoritative guide to nudity, bating, exposure, and other words you probably understood perfectly well before arriving here.

Editorial Note: The definitions below are intended to be genuinely useful. The commentary accompanying them is intended to be significantly less useful.

ADULT CONTENT

noun | adult con·tent

Material intended for adults that may include nudity, sexual themes, explicit language, or sexual subject matter.

Usage note: A remarkably efficient phrase meaning, “Perhaps don't open this website on the conference-room projector.”

ANONYMOUS

adjective | a·non·y·mous

Having one's identity unknown, undisclosed, or deliberately concealed.

Usage note: Shaun was informed this was an option. He declined.

See also: real name; identity exposure; Shaun McMurtrie; missed opportunities

ANUS

noun | a·nus

The opening at the end of the digestive tract through which solid waste leaves the body.

Usage note: Everybody has one. Shaun has apparently decided his doesn't require anonymity.

Common name: Asshole.

Not to be confused with the other kind of asshole, which remains considerably more offensive and considerably more common on the internet.

Editorial note: If you're consulting this dictionary because you weren't sure whether Shaun has an anus, the photographic department would like a word.

See also: ass; naked; exposed; private parts, increasingly a misnomer

ASS

noun; informal | ass

The buttocks; the fleshy part of the body forming the rear of the pelvis.

Usage note: Traditionally kept covered in public. Shaun continues to regard many traditions as suggestions.

See also: anus; naked; full frontal's equally exposed cousin

BALD

adjective | bald

Having little or no hair on the head, whether naturally or by choice.

Usage note: Shaun shaves his head. He also shaves his pubic hair, balls, and ass. Apparently bald isn't a condition. It's a brand standard.

See also: shaved; smooth; balls; consistency; hair, unauthorized

BALLS

plural noun; informal | balls

An informal term for the testicles, the male reproductive organs located within the scrotum.

Usage note: Anatomically important. Comedically indispensable.

Also one of the few things a man can possess, bust, drop, freeze, sweat, or have “of steel” without anyone necessarily discussing anatomy.

See also: testicles; private parts

BARE

adjective | bare

Uncovered; unclothed; exposed to view.

Usage note: A perfectly respectable English word that has been carrying an absolutely unreasonable amount of the pun workload around here.

See also: naked; nude; my ass

BARE ASS

noun | bare ass

An uncovered buttocks; more broadly, a state of complete undress.

Example: Shaun showed up bare-ass naked.

Usage note: Linguistically redundant. Spiritually magnificent.

BATE

verb, noun | bate

Within masturbation-oriented communities, a shortened form of masturbate or masturbation.

Usage note: Removing the first syllable saves valuable time that can apparently be devoted to other activities.

See also: bator; masturbation

BATE FUEL

noun | bate fuel

Informal slang for a person, image, video, fantasy, or other material someone finds sexually arousing while masturbating.

Usage note: One of the few kinds of fuel for which Shaun is delighted to be considered a renewable resource.

BATOR

noun | ba·tor

A person who identifies strongly with masturbation as an enjoyable part of their sexuality, sometimes including social, communal, or shared masturbation experiences.

Usage note: See also: Shaun. Really, we could have saved ourselves a paragraph.

Example: The bator joined a community of like-minded men online.

Editorial note: “Like-minded” is doing heroic work in that sentence.

BATOR COMMUNITY

noun | ba·tor com·mu·ni·ty

A social community organized around a shared interest in masturbation, which may interact online, in person, or both.

Usage note: Proof that apparently even masturbation can involve networking.

LinkedIn remains strangely resistant to adding it as a skill.

BODY POSITIVITY

noun | bod·y pos·i·tiv·i·ty

An approach that encourages acceptance and respect for bodies across differences in size, shape, age, appearance, ability, and other characteristics.

Usage note: Your body does not need to resemble anyone else's to deserve respect.

It also does not need clothing.

Those are separate issues, but Shaun feels strongly about both.

CLOTHED

adjective | clothed

Wearing clothing.

Usage note: Shaun's least photogenic condition.

See also: temporary inconvenience

CLOTHING

noun | cloth·ing

Garments worn on the body for protection, warmth, modesty, decoration, or social convention.

Usage note: Useful during Pennsylvania winters, court appearances, and situations in which society insists on ruining everyone's fun.

COME

verb | come

To move toward or arrive at a specified place.

Usage note: A completely innocent English word destroyed forever by context.

See also: cum

The editorial staff accepts no responsibility for how you pronounced this entry in your head.

CUM

noun, verb; informal sexual slang | cum

A common slang spelling associated with orgasm and semen.

Usage note: Also responsible for the regrettable closing invitation, “Cum back anytime.”

We knew exactly what we were doing.

We apologize for nothing.

ERECTION

noun | erec·tion

The physiological enlargement and stiffening of the penis resulting from increased blood flow, commonly associated with sexual arousal but also occurring spontaneously.

Usage note: The human body's least subtle notification system.

Example: The erection was spontaneous and inconvenient.

A sentence responsible for approximately half of adolescence.

EXHIBITIONISM

noun | ex·hi·bi·tion·ism

The enjoyment of displaying oneself or being observed by others; in sexual contexts, the term can refer to arousal associated with consensually being seen or displaying one's body.

Usage note: The important word here is consensually.

The second important word, at least on this website, is seen.

Shaun did not build all these galleries because he hoped nobody would look.

EXHIBITIONIST

noun | ex·hi·bi·tion·ist

A person who enjoys displaying themselves or being observed, sometimes for sexual excitement.

Usage note: Someone who hears “people might see that” and does not necessarily interpret it as a warning.

See also: Shaun McMurtrie

EXPOSED

adjective | ex·posed

Uncovered, visible, revealed, or made accessible to view or knowledge.

On this website, exposed can refer to Shaun's body, sexuality, experiences, thoughts, identity, or personal history.

Usage note: We are squeezing every conceivable meaning out of this word.

At this point exposed should probably be receiving royalties.

EXPOSURE

noun | ex·po·sure

The condition of being visible, uncovered, revealed, or brought to public attention.

Usage note: Usually something a public-relations consultant tells you to manage carefully.

Shaun built a website.

FULL FRONTAL

adjective, noun | full fron·tal

A view of an unclothed person from the front in which the genitals are visible.

Usage note: On many websites, a content warning.

Around here, Tuesday.

GAY

adjective, noun | gay

Describing a person who experiences romantic or sexual attraction primarily to people of the same sex; commonly used particularly for men attracted to men.

Usage note: In Shaun's case, not exactly the website's most difficult mystery to solve.

See also: men; sexuality; clues, numerous

HARD-ON

noun; informal | hard-on

An erection of the penis, typically associated with sexual arousal.

Usage note: The penis's way of standing up and making its opinion known.

See also: erection; horny; penis

HORNY

adjective; informal | horn·y

Sexually aroused or strongly interested in sexual activity.

Usage note: A wonderfully efficient word.

Five letters. One concept. Very little ambiguity.

Example: Shaun was horny.

Our research department has confirmed that additional examples are unnecessary.

IDENTITY

noun | i·den·ti·ty

The characteristics, experiences, roles, beliefs, and qualities that make a person who they are.

Usage note: Most people contain multitudes. Shaun gave his a website.

See also: Shaun McMurtrie; identity exposure; The Exposed Bator; apparently all of this

IDENTITY EXPOSURE

noun | i·den·ti·ty ex·po·sure

The deliberate act of making absolutely fucking sure people know exactly who the person doing all this exposing actually is.

In Shaun's case, this means putting his real name alongside his face, body, nudity, sexuality, exhibitionism, bator identity, writing, education, professional history, and assorted other things most people would normally distribute among several usernames, three locked accounts, and a browser history they intend to take to the grave.

And because apparently simply telling you his name wasn't exposed enough, identity exposure may also include sharing appropriate documentation, licenses, records, credentials, photographs, or other receipts that establish: Yep. That's really him.

The objective is not merely: “Look at this naked guy.”

It is: “Look at this naked guy. His name is Shaun McMurtrie. And for reasons we're still investigating, he is showing his ID to us while naked and hard."

Usage note: Most people use the internet to protect the connection between their legal identity and their sexual identity.

Shaun appears to have interpreted that as a challenge.

Example: Shaun practiced identity exposure by putting his real name on an adult website and then providing enough corroborating evidence that nobody could reasonably accuse him of insufficient commitment to the bit.

Identity exposure should not be confused with having no boundaries. Shaun still decides what he shares and what remains private.

It's just that once he decides to share something, his preferred approach seems to be: “Fuck anonymity. Put my name on it.”

See also: exposed; receipts; real name; exhibitionism; privacy; Shaun McMurtrie; The Exposed Bator

JERK OFF

verb; vulgar slang | jerk off

To masturbate, particularly by manual stimulation of the penis.

Usage note: See masturbate if you would like the exact same activity described by someone wearing a lab coat.

MASTURBATE

verb | mas·tur·bate

To stimulate one's own genitals for sexual pleasure.

Usage note: We checked three dictionaries to make sure there wasn't secretly another meaning.

There isn't.

MASTURBATION

noun | mas·tur·ba·tion

Sexual stimulation of one's own body, especially the genitals, for pleasure.

Usage note: An ordinary human sexual behavior with an extraordinarily impressive collection of euphemisms.

Self-pleasure. Personal time. Taking care of yourself.

Or—and stay with us here—

masturbation.

MODESTY

noun | mod·es·ty

Behavior, dress, or presentation intended to avoid attracting attention to oneself, particularly one's body or accomplishments.

Usage note: We have forwarded your inquiry to another website.

NAKED

adjective | na·ked

Not wearing clothing; uncovered.

Usage note: One of those definitions that raises serious questions about why this glossary exists.

Example: Shaun was naked.

Statistically one of the safest sentences you can write about ShaunMcMurtrie.com.

NATURISM

noun | na·tur·ism

A lifestyle or philosophy involving social nudity, often emphasizing comfort with the human body, nature, personal freedom, and respect for others.

Usage note: Similar to nudism, but with a name that makes taking your pants off sound considerably more philosophical.

NATURIST

noun | na·tur·ist

A person who practices naturism.

Usage note: A nudist who sounds like he might own hiking sandals and have strong opinions about sunscreen.

NONSEXUAL NUDITY

noun phrase | non·sex·u·al nu·di·ty

Nudity occurring without sexual intent or activity, such as social nudism, changing clothes, bathing, art, or simply being comfortable unclothed.

Usage note: Yes, nudity can be completely nonsexual.

Editorial note: It can also be sexual as hell.

Both facts have somehow managed to coexist without the universe collapsing.

NUDE

adjective, noun | nude

Without clothing; an unclothed person or artistic representation of an unclothed person.

Usage note: Nude sounds sophisticated.

Naked sounds like something interesting is about to happen.

Shaun uses both.

NUDISM

noun | nu·dism

The practice of being nude, particularly socially or recreationally, based on comfort, body acceptance, freedom, or personal preference.

Usage note: A philosophy based partly on the radical proposition that the human body does not immediately burst into flames when someone sees it.

NUDIST

noun | nu·dist

A person who practices or prefers nudism.

Usage note: Someone who looked at pants and eventually asked the question the rest of civilization was apparently afraid to ask:

“But why?”

NUDITY

noun | nu·di·ty

The state or condition of being without clothing.

Usage note: If ShaunMcMurtrie.com was genuinely where you first encountered this concept, welcome.

You've had an unusual life.

PA

abbreviation | P.A.

An abbreviation that, depending entirely on context, may refer to Pennsylvania, the U.S. state in which Shaun lives, or a Prince Albert, a type of genital piercing through the penis.

Usage note: For most Pennsylvanians, saying “I have a PA” would be a geographically confusing way of describing their home state.

For Shaun, both interpretations are correct.

Example: Shaun lives in PA and has a PA.

This sentence is simultaneously informative, anatomically relevant, and completely fucking useless.

See also: Pennsylvania; Prince Albert; penis; context is important

PENIS

noun | pe·nis

The external male sexual and urinary organ.

Usage note: There. A perfectly mature anatomical definition.

Please appreciate the enormous restraint demonstrated by the editorial staff.

See also: dick

PERMANENT EXPOSURE

noun phrase | per·ma·nent ex·po·sure

The deliberate act of making aspects of one's body, identity, sexuality, or personal life publicly available with the understanding that once something is released, complete control over where it travels or how long it survives may be impossible.

Usage note: Regular exposure says, “Look at me.” Permanent exposure says, “And apparently future generations may look too.”

Editorial note: Most people plant a tree. Shaun wanted a naked legacy.

See also: identity exposure; exposed; real name; internet; well, no taking that back

POPPERS

plural noun; informal | pop·pers

A common informal term for inhaled alkyl nitrites used recreationally for their brief physiological and psychoactive effects.

Usage note: A real substance with real health considerations, so this is one entry where the dictionary will resist making itself completely useless.

Apparently we do have standards.

We were surprised too.

PRIVACY

noun | pri·va·cy

The condition of being free from unwanted observation or having control over access to oneself and one's personal information.

Usage note: Contrary to mounting evidence, Shaun is familiar with the concept.

See also: boundaries

No, seriously. Those still exist.

PRIVATE PARTS

plural noun; euphemistic | pri·vate parts

A euphemistic term for the genitals or other intimate areas of the body traditionally kept covered from public view.

Usage note: An increasingly inaccurate description on ShaunMcMurtrie.com.

At this point, “public parts” may be more factually defensible.

See also: penis; balls; nudity; privacy, allegedly

RECEIPTS

plural noun | re·ceipts

Evidence, documentation, records, photographs, credentials, publications, or other material used to substantiate a statement, identity, experience, or claim.

On ShaunMcMurtrie.com, receipts refers to the assorted documentation Shaun may choose to share to demonstrate that the person, history, credentials, and experiences described on the website actually belong to Shaun McMurtrie.

In other words: Proof that this isn't some elaborate naked-man fan fiction.

Usage note: Most people saying “Here's a picture of my diploma” are trying to prove they graduated. Shaun is apparently assembling a documentary evidence trail establishing that the naked exhibitionist with a doctorate and the respectable guy whose name appears on the paperwork are, inconveniently for anyone hoping for a simpler explanation, the same fucking person.

Example: The skeptical visitor requested receipts. Shaun, misunderstanding this as encouragement, returned with three forms of ID, naked with a hardon.

Editorial note: Sensitive information should obviously be redacted before publication. Identity exposure is fun. Identity theft is a considerably shittier Easter egg.

See also: identity exposure; real name; Shaun McMurtrie; exposed; documentation; for fuck's sake, we believe you

SELF-EXPOSURE

noun | self-ex·po·sure

The deliberate act of revealing one's body, identity, thoughts, experiences, sexuality, or other personal aspects of oneself to others.

Usage note: Some people dip a toe outside their comfort zone.

Shaun apparently cannonballed into it naked.

See also: exposed; exhibitionism; identity exposure; subtlety, complete absence of

SEXUAL

adjective | sex·u·al

Relating to sex, sexuality, sexual attraction, or sexual activity.

Usage note: Sometimes nudity isn't sexual.

Sometimes it absolutely fucking is.

Context is marvelous.

SHAUN McMURTRIE

proper noun | Shaun Mc·Mur·trie

The person whose name, body, writing, experiences, sexuality, humor, and assorted questionable ideas constitute the subject matter of ShaunMcMurtrie.com.

Educated. Professional. Thoughtful. Ridiculous. Nudist. Exhibitionist. Bator.

Usage note: There appears to be rather a lot of him on this website.

In several senses.

TAINT

noun | taynt

The delightfully unofficial name for the perineum—the stretch of skin between the genitals and the anus.

Why “taint”? Because it ain’t the sack, and it ain’t the ass. It’s the little neighborhood caught somewhere in between.

Also known as the gooch, grundle, or chode shelf, depending on how much dignity you've decided to leave at the door.

The taint: proof that sometimes anatomy is easier to understand when you just admit, “It ain’t either one.”

TESTICLES

plural noun | tes·ti·cles

The male reproductive glands located within the scrotum that produce sperm and testosterone.

Usage note: Balls, but wearing a tie.

Differentiation: Not to be confused with what you do to Elmo at the store before deciding whether to purchase him.

See also: balls; penis

THE EXPOSED BATOR

proper noun | The Ex·posed Ba·tor

A name originally adopted by Shaun McMurtrie for connecting consistently with other bators online, later becoming the label he uses for the openly sexual, masturbation-positive, exhibitionistic part of himself.

It is not a separate person or secret alter ego.

Usage note: Apparently “Shaun, But Hornier” lacked the necessary gravitas.

Marketing rejected “Dr. McMurtrie After Dark.”

Legal refused to return our calls.

THIRST TRAP

noun; informal | thirst trap

A photograph, video, or post deliberately presented to attract attention because the subject appears physically or sexually appealing.

Usage note: Usually people pretend this happened accidentally.

Shaun would prefer not to waste everyone's time.

TOTALLY EXPOSED

adjective phrase | to·tal·ly ex·posed

On this website, a description of deliberate openness involving body, identity, sexuality, thoughts, experiences, and other aspects of one's life.

It does not mean possessing no personal boundaries.

Usage note: An important distinction.

Even this fucking dictionary doesn't get to know everything.

VAGINA

noun | va·gi·na

A muscular canal of the female reproductive system extending from the cervix to the external genital opening.

Usage note: We were frankly surprised this word made it into the dictionary.

Editorial note: ShaunMcMurtrie.com has been unable to provide photographic supporting documentation.

See also: elsewhere

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

noun | ward·robe mal·func·tion

An accidental failure of clothing that exposes part of the body unexpectedly.

Usage note: Cannot occur if you're already naked.

Checkmate, textiles industry.

WANK

verb, noun; chiefly British slang | wank

To masturbate; an act of masturbation.

Usage note: Included as a courtesy to international visitors.

ShaunMcMurtrie.com is committed to multilingual masturbation literacy.

WANKER

noun; chiefly British slang | wank·er

Literally, a person who masturbates; also commonly used as a British insult for an objectionable or foolish person.

Usage note: Context is critical.

One meaning may be a compliment around here.

WATCH

verb | watch

To look at or observe attentively for a period of time.

Usage note: Finally, a call to action.

A FINAL NOTE FROM THE EDITORS

Language evolves. Sexual language evolves particularly quickly, presumably because human beings have demonstrated extraordinary creativity whenever presented with the opportunity to avoid saying masturbation.

Definitions on this page may therefore be added, amended, expanded, corrected, or subjected to increasingly terrible jokes without notice.

If you've encountered a term elsewhere on this site that you think belongs here, tell me.

If you genuinely learned something, wonderful.

If you laughed, even better.

And if you read an entire dictionary of nudist and masturbation terminology voluntarily...

You've clearly cum to the right fucking website!